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I have to assume that those writers who put their work on the Internet really want someone else to read it. Why then do they not put some effort into ensuring that simple mistakes do not distract the reader? One of the most prevalent mistakes is the malapropism, the use of the wrong word. This mistake proves that mere use of a spell-checker does not suffice to remove errors from text. After all, how is a spell-checker to know that the sentence "We will now sing." should instead be "We will not sing."?
To illustrate my complaint, I here present a growing list of malaprops (the wrong words in a malapropism) that I have found in on-line fiction. Some of these might be mere typographical errors, the result of a failure to proof-read or an excessive dependence on a computer spell-checker. These might involve a mere substitution of one letter for another (e.g., bust for busy) or the transposition of two letters (e.g., angel for angle), common keyboard mistakes. There is also the misplaced space (e.g., changing them at into the mat), another keyboard mistake. Sometimes, malaprops result from hasty writing. One author often left the last letter (or letters) off words; his spell-checker could not find the mistakes when the results were still legitimate words (e.g., should instead of shoulder). I believe that some malaprops result when an author misspells a word and then allows a software spell-checker correct it; without paying sufficient attention to what is happening, the author allows the spell-checker to make an incorrect correction.
Most often, however, the words are indeed intended by the author, reflecting his or her ignorance (possibly resulting from hearing someone else mispronounce the words). (Separately, I present homonyms, words that actually sound the same but have different meanings and are spelled differently.) The author's intention goes awry when he or she attempts to use a fancy-sounding word without really understanding what it means or how to use it. The result is a malapropism.
More than merely showing ignorance, the context sometimes can be unintentionally very funny, so funny as to distract the reader from the sense of the story. In one example, two boys were eating an afternoon snake. In another, a man lathed his lover's ear with his tongue (OUCH!!).
Note: A pun also involves the use of a real but wrong word. Unlike a malaprop, however, a pun is intentional, with the purpose of being humorous (not humerus [a bone]). The appropriate reaction to a pun is a groan (not a grown).
In the following list, definitions in the right-hand column relate to the context in which the malaprop was found. Other definitions are generally omitted.
| What Was Written | What Was Meant |
|---|---|
| accent: giving a syllable more emphasis than other syllables, a mark indicating such emphasis; a characteristic pronunciation, often resulting from regional or social background or from having another primary language | assent: agreement, concurrence, consent |
| accept: approve | except: exclude |
| access: the approach or entrance to a place (including a virtual place) | axis: the imaginary line around which the world (or any mass) rotates |
| acceptance: approval | exception: exclusion, omission, something not conforming to the usual |
| acquiesced: agreed or consented passively and without protest | accused: blamed; charged with a criminal offense |
| addition: not subtraction | edition: version of a newspaper (e.g., the Sunday edition) |
| admits: confesses | amidst: among, within |
| advise: give advice | advice: strong recommendation, what you get when someone advises you |
| affect: create an impact | effect: result |
| affective: emotional | effective: efficient; impressive; capable of producing an intended result |
| all ready: completely ready | already: before, by this time |
| allude: make indirect reference | elude: avoid, escape, hide |
| allusion: an indirect reference (the result of alluding) | illusion: fantasy |
| ally: a partner in an alliance | alley: a narrow street or passageway between or behind city buildings |
| along | alone |
| amble: stroll with some vigor | ample: generous, abundant |
| and | an This is the kind of typographical error that clearly indicates a total lack of proof-reading. This is also the kind of error that automated spell-checkers do not catch. |
| angle | angel |
| appliance; a device (e.g., a kitchen appliance is used in cooking) | compliance: cooperation, conformity, obedience (e.g., compliance with the law) |
| aquatinted: printed in monochrome from an acid-etched copper plate | acquainted: familiar |
| archived: [of a document] placed into long-term storage | achieved: accomplished |
| armored: protected against attack | armed: carrying a weapon |
| aspect: appearance to the eye | accept: receive as satisfactory |
| asses: more than one ass (rear end; donkey) | assess: determine the amount of a tax or the value of property on which a tax is levied |
| assume | awesome |
| attach (as in heart attach) | attack |
| away | awake |
| awe | oh |
| backs (as in sleeping backs) | bags |
| banned: prohibited
Seen in "… Janie and Ben have banned together …" | ?? From the context, the author might have meant banded, bonded, or bounded — something indicating the two were working together. |
| bark: the outermost tissue layer of a tree | back: not front |
| barley: a grain | barely: scarcely |
| barrel: a large, cylindrical container | barrow: a device with projecting handles used for carrying a load
It's a wheel barrow, not a wheel barrel. |
| bath: where you bathe | bathe: what you do in the bath |
| batter: a mixture of flour and various liquids for making cake; to criminally beat | banter: good-humored ridicule |
| bed: where you sleep | bread: something to eat |
| behave: act properly
Seen in: Congratulations to you, Mr. Johnston on behave of the board. |
behalf: as an agent or representative of |
| behaving: acting properly
Seen in: Chad told me that I'd better not behaving too much fun. |
be having: possessing
This is an excellent example of two real words being changed into a third real but unrelated word by the accidental omission of the space between them. Since all the words here are real, no spell-checker would be able to find the error. |
| bellow: shout | below: not above |
| bend: use force to change a shape into an arc or angle
Seen in bend in meaning hide in a crowd |
blend: mingle or combine so as to obscure |
| beseeched: seriously begged, implored | besieged: laid siege to |
| beseeched: seriously begged, implored | besieged: laid siege to |
| biting: cutting with your teeth
Seen in he was biting his time. |
biding: waiting, enduring
The phrase is biding his time, meaning waiting for an opportune moment. |
| blaze: a roaring fire | blasé: weary or bored |
| blind-sighted [an oxymoron of unknown meaning] | blind-sided: hit from a direction (side) where you could not see the blow coming |
| bomb fire: a fire from an incendiary bomb | bonfire: a large fire, usually for a celebration |
| bond fire: a fire for disposing of Enron securities | |
| bounds: borders | pounds: currency in the United Kingdom |
| bow: for shooting arrows; a knot tied with loops extending out | bowl: in which soup is served |
| bowls: in which soup is served; lawn bowling | bolls: in which cotton forms |
| Brain: inside the head | Brian: a name |
| breath: what goes in and out of your lungs when you breathe | breathe: the act of drawing breath in and out |
| brunt force — brunt: the main or chief burden Thus, the main force Possibly an erroneous attempt to combine brute and blunt |
brute force: crude, ignorant force
blunt force — |
| bulks: becomes large | balks: refuses to move or act as directed |
| burry: characterized with burrs (rough edges) | bury: hide by covering (e.g., in a hole) |
| bust: slang for poor business | busy: what a business wants to be |
| cache [CASH]: a hidden place for storing provisions | cachet [cash AY]: a distictive mark, a (figurative) seal of individuality |
| calamity: disaster | climate: long-term weather |
| campaign: a series of connected military operations conducted for a common objective | champagne: a sparkling white wine from the French province of Champagne |
| can: a metal container | came: past tense of come |
| cannery: where food is canned | canary: a small songbird with yellow feathers |
| carbine: a light, short, automatic or semi-automatic rifle
Seen in carbine copy |
carbon: a black element, principal constituent of soot
Carbon soot is used to make carbon paper, which was extensively used to make copies of typed documents before the advent of xerographic copiers — thus the term carbon copy, referring to any identical copy of an original, including copies of non-documentary objects or even persons (e.g., a child who looks very much like a parent). |
| caste: a social class in which membership is determined by such non-meritorious factors as heredity, wealth, or religion | cast: a group of performers in a play or similar entertainment; a rigid encasing of a fractured limb to keep it immobilized while it heals |
| causal: involving a cause | casual: informal |
| cause | cost |
| cease: stop | seize: grab |
| chalk [used in chalk full]: a soft, white mineral used in stick form for writing and drawing | chock full: completely full |
| chassis: the frame of an automobile, including the engine, wheels, etc
[used in chassis lounge: where an automobile frame relaxes?] |
chaise longue: a couch-like chair with the seat extended to allow a person to rest his outstretched legs |
| chick: a young bird; (slang) a young woman | chic [sheek]: stylish, elegant
(See also chic and sheik under Homonyns) |
| chin: front part of lower jaw | shin: front part of leg just above the ankle |
| chock: a block placed against the wheel of a vehicle to keep it from rolling | choke: strangle |
| shock: emotional jolt | |
| clam: a tasty mollusc | calm: serene, not roiled |
| cleric: priest | clerk: salesperson in a retail store |
| click: a sharp sound | clique [cleek]: an exclusive (usually snobbish) group |
| close: near closed: not open cloths: pieces of fabric | clothes: garments, wearing apparel |
| closet | closest |
| coach: a railroad car for passengers; a stagecoach | couch: a piece of furniture where two or more persons may sit |
| cold [used in cold slaw] | cole: a group of vegetables that includes cabbage, cauliflower, and broccoli; thus coleslaw or cole slaw |
| completion: finish, ending | complexion: color, texture, and appearance of the skin |
| conceded: surrendered | conceited: vain |
| concurrent: [a set of events] all at the same time | consecutive: [a set of events] in sequence one after another |
| conscience: that small voice in your head that lets you know you have done something wrong even when no one else is watching | conscious: awake |
| coral: a marine animal in the form of a polyp that creates stoney reefs | corral: an enclosure for horses or cattle |
| coursed: traveled along a marked course | coerced: forced |
| create | crate |
| crouch: stoop low | crotch: a V-shaped junction, such as where tree branches join the trunk or where thighs join the torso |
| crow: a large, black bird | crowd: a large number of persons |
| crown: a jeweled headpiece worn as a symbol of royalty | |
| curios: souvenirs, trinkets | curious: inquisitive |
| currier: a person who brushes horses; a person who dresses leather | courier: a person or service that carries messages and packages |
| curtsy | courtesy |
| custard: a mixture of milk and eggs cooked by baking or simmering, often sweetened for a dessert
Seen in: The fort was constructed, in part, after General Custard's defeat at Little Big Horn. | Custer: the U.S. colonel who was defeated and killed by Native Americans at the Battle of Little Bighorn (full name George Armstrong Custer, held rank of brigadier general only during the Civil War) |
| curve: bend in a smooth but not straight line | carve: cut precisely
The phrase is carve a niche, not curve a niche |
| dawning: the rising of the sun | donning: putting on (said of clothing) |
| death: the final destination | deaf: hearing impaired |
| decend [for descend]: go down
[used in The elevator … started to make his slow descend up. If the elevator were indeed going down, the correct word would have been descent without up.] | ascent: upward motion |
| decimating: removing or destroying one tenth
The next morning, we awoke to the smell of a big breakfast, mom style. After we made ourselves presentable, we sat at the table complementing on the spread already on the table. She said it was fun and actually missed cooking for more than herself. After decimating the contents on the table, we went over what we were going to do today. What this author describes is leaving 90% of the food uneaten. He also keeps jumping between past and present tense in the same paragraph. |
devouring(?): eating greedily
or perhaps devastating(?): laying waste |
| deign: allow in a condescending way | deny(?): refuse a request or access |
| delft: a glazed earthenware, often decorated in white or blue, originally made in the Dutch town of Delft | deft: handy, sure-handed |
| denounce: publicly condemn | renounce: give up an entitlement, disown, foreswear |
| descend: travel downward | ascend: travel upward |
| delude: mislead, deceive | elude: avoid, escape, hide |
| descent [deCENT]: downward motion | decent [DEcent]: proper |
| devote: to give special attention; to dedicate [always a verb] | devout: religious; sincere [always an adjective] |
| differing: disputing, computing a difference | deferring: yielding, taking a secondary or subservient position relative to a superior |
| dinning: filling the air with noise (with din) | dining: eating |
| disbursed: paid out | dispersed: spread around (often in the sense of scattering away) |
| disguising: camouflaging, hiding the identity | disgusting: repulsive, offensive |
| diving: jumping into a pool of water | devining: locating by paranormal methods
A devining rod (not a diving rod) is supposedly used by a dowser (water witch) to locate a previously unknown spring or other source of water. |
| dolled out: dressed up real nice | doled out: paid |
| done: finished | down: not up |
| dose: an amount of a drug | doze: sleep lightly |
| dower: the part of a person's estate automatically assigned by law to his or her surviving spouse for the remainder of the survivor's life | dour: surly, stern, ill-tempered |
| draw: pull; make a picture | drawer: a container within a piece of furniture that can be pulled out horizontally and then pushed back in
The piece of bedroom furniture is a chest of drawers, not chest of draws. |
| dribble: drool; propel a basketball by bouncing it | drivel: foolish talk, twaddle |
| drug: medicine | dragged: past-tense of drag |
| due Seen in The evening due to a close… | drew |
| embarrass | embrace |
| earning | early |
| ease [in ease dropping] | eaves dropping: surreptitiously listening (under the eaves, listening through a partially open window) |
| enormity: an offensive situation, atrocity | immensity: largeness |
| enviable: worthy of envy; very desirable | inevitable: unavoidable, sure to happen, necessary |
| ethnics: slang for people characterized by common language and culture (from ethnic: distinctive of a particular racial, cultural, or language division of mankind) | ethics: the principles of moral conduct |
| evaluator: someone who determines a value; someone who evaluates | elevator: a small mobile room that travels vertically to carry people or things from one floor of a building to another |
| except: exclude | expect: anticipate |
| excepted: made an exception | accepted: approved, popular |
| exist: be | exit: depart, leave |
| exited: departed | excited |
| expect: anticipate | inspect: examine carefully |
| extend: stretch | extent: amount |
| facet: one of the flat planes on a cut gemstone | faucet: from which water flows when turned on |
| faithful: loyal | fateful: momentous, as if controlled by fate, of ominous significance |
| fall feel fell [Using one of these for another is a very common typographical error and indicates a total lack of proof-reading.] | |
| fallow: [of a field] uncultivated, left without planting a crop | follow |
| familiar: well-acquainted, intimate | familial: related to family |
| far: not near | for: not against |
| fathomed: found the depth of; understood; interpreted [from fathom: 6 feet(nautical measure of depth)] (Seen in The two young men, not fathomed by the chilly air, walked in their direction.) | ??? |
| fauna: animals [used in hanging fauna, part of the decor of a restaurant] | flora: plants |
| feign: give a false appearance, pretend | fiend: a person who is extremely addicted to some pernicious habit |
| fiends [Expressing loneliness, someone exclaims, "I have no close fiends."] | friends |
| fill: occupy the whole of, supply [a container] with as much as it can hold
Seen in … deciding to fill for legal emancipation from her parents … |
file: make or submit an application (usually in a legal sense) |
| filled: completely occupied with no remaining empty space | Phil: a man's name (short for Philip)
(I suspect the writer misspelled Phil and then accepted whatever his spell-checker suggested) |
| flamingo: a large wading bird | flamenco: an energetic, percussive style of music and dance originating in Spain |
| flour: for making bread | floor: not the ceiling |
| flexed: bent | flecked: containing small spots (flecks) |
| form | from |
| frig: slang for masturbate | fridge: slang for refrigerator |
| from | front |
| furry: covered with fur | fury: fierce, violent action |
| Gabriele [Gah bree ell]: a woman's name (also Gabrielle) | Gabriel [Gay bree ell]: a man's name, also the name of one of the archangels |
| garage: enclosed place where you park your car | garbage: trash |
| garbed: clothed | grabbed: clutched, held |
| garnishing: decorating a plate of food; placing a lien on someone's wages | garnering: gathering, accumulating |
| gauntlet: a large glove that extends above the wrist | gantlet: a form of military punishment in which the offender ran between two lines of men armed with clubs and whips, with which the offender was struck as he ran
Thus, the phrase is to run the gantlet, meaning to traverse a route with danger close on both sides. |
| gauze: a loose-woven fabric, sometimes used as a dressing for wounds | gaze: look |
| gauss (used where the author meant gauze): a unit of magnetic field strength (from Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), German mathematician and physicist) | |
| getter: someone who gets | better: more than good |
| giggling: laughing lightly | jiggling: shaking lightly |
| gilding: gold coating | gelding: a castrated horse |
| ginger: a spicy root | finger: on your hand |
| girt: encircled (as with a belt) | girl: female not yet a woman |
| give: what you do with a gift
Seen in: Don't look a give horse in the mouth. |
gift: something given without compensation
Based on the practice of checking a horse's teeth to estimate its age, the correct phrase is Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, meaning that you should not question the quality of a gift. |
| gleam: shine, glint | glean: winnow, extract a small amount of desired substance from a large amount of trash |
| glom: slang for take (often secretively or illegally) | |
| gnaw: chew | naw: slang for no |
| gouache: a artistic paint medium using opaque pigments in a water-based gum; a painting made with such a medium | gauche: clumsy, boorish; literally left-handed [French] |
| graded: separated according to grade | grated: shredded on a grater |
| gramps: grandfathers | cramps: sharp pains |
| grim: fierce, ghastly, terrifying | grin: a happy smile (very far from grim) |
| grove: a group of trees | groove: a small, narrow channel |
| guess: conjecture | guest: a welcome visitor |
| guild: an association of tradesmen or craftsmen | guide: steer |
| gust: a brief but strong wind
Seen in: It was dark and took a few minutes to a gust from the out door summer brightness to the gloom of the bar. |
adjust |
| hansom: a low, two-wheeled, one-horse carriage with the driver's seat behind and above the passengers | handsome: pleasing in appearance (in a masculine way) |
| hasp: part of the hardware engaged by a lock (e.g., on a gate) | gasp: a short, sharp breath (often reflecting surprise) |
| heat: how hot | head: on top of the neck |
| hell | heal |
| Helmut: a man's name (especially in a Germanic language) | helmet: a hard hat designed to protect the head |
| herring: a fish
Seen in: A judge conducted a herring. (a unique symphonic spectacle) | hearing: a legal action slightly less formal than a trial |
| hips | lips |
| hold | whole |
| hollowed: made hollow, removed the insides of a solid object | hollered: shouted |
| house | hose |
| huddle: [sports] a conference of players on the field of play
Seen in the phrase: there was only one huddle to cross |
hurdle: [sports] an obstacle over which a runner leaps
The correct phrase is there was only one hurdle to cross, reflecting the fact that a runner must successfully cross all the hurdles to win the race. |
| hugs | hogs |
| immortalize: create an induring reputation | idolize: respect (a person) as if perfect |
| impact: hit | impart: make known; bestow a quantity |
| impact: hit | impart: make known; bestow a quantity |
| impute: attribute (e.g., a crime) to a person | input: information supplied to someone else who is making a decision |
| incubate: (medicine) place in an isolated, nurturing environment to promote growth | intubate: (medicine) insert a tube into the trachea to aid breathing |
| incur | intrude |
| indiscriminate: without discrimination | infinitesimal: very tiny |
| insensitives: individuals who are not sensitive (??) | incentives: encouragements, motivators |
| insinuating: giving indirect, sneaky suggestions Seen in insinuating circumstances | extenuating: tending to lessen guilt |
| instead | inside |
| intonating: chanting, speaking with a specific musical tone | intimating: hint, imply, subtly suggest |
| jarred: shaken | ajar: slightly open (e.g., a door) |
| jest: a joke, make a joke | gist: the main point of an issue |
| jester: a comic person | gesture: a hand motion to emphasize or substitute for spoken communication |
| knit whit —
knit: a frabic made by interlocking loops of a continuous strand of yarn or thread whit: speck, smallest possible particle |
nitwit: a silly or stupid person |
| lamb: young sheep | lamp: a light |
| laps: circuits around a track | lapse: go by (usually said of time) |
| lathe: a machine for turning and shaping (e.g., for making fancy legs and rungs for a dining chair) | lave: wash, bathe |
| latten: a thin sheet of metal; an alloy similar to brass | latent: dormant, hidden |
| latter: not former, the second of two | ladder: a device for climbing, generally with steps between parallel rails |
| lease: a rental contract | least: not most |
| leave [used in gold leave] | leaf [gold leaf because the sheets of gold are as thin as a leaf] |
| leaving: departing, exiting | leaning: resting at an angle |
| Lent: a holy season for some Christians
(The author may have written lent, which his spell-checker capitalized.) |
leaned: rested against something for support, usually at an angle |
| lesson | listen |
| lever | level |
| libation: a ceremonial drink | ablution: washing of the body |
| libel: the civil wrong caused by publishing a harmful untruth | liable: at risk of suffering something unpleasant; legally responsible |
| lien: the legal claim of one person upon the property of another person to secure the payment of a debt | line: a mark long in proportion to its breadth on a surface
This simple transposition of the letters n and e still yields a valid word. Both are nouns; thus, the substitution of lien for line is grammatically correct even if it make no sense. This is another error that cannot be caught by either a spell-checker or a grammar-checker. Only human proof-reading could catch this error. Other errors in the story where this was found indicate no such proof-reading was done. |
| life | lift |
| like | link |
| limps: walks with a limp | limbs: arms and legs |
| livid: having the skin an abnormal color (e.g., flushed) or bruised; furious, enraged | lived: (in the context used) resided |
| living: staying alive | leaving: departing, exiting |
| load | loud |
| lochs: [Scottish] lakes, estuaries | lox: raw salmon that has been cold smoked |
| lodge: insert or place firmly | dislodge: loosen something that was lodged |
| looked | locked |
| loose: not tight | lose: to part with unintentionally |
| lounged: relaxed while lying down | lunged: suddenly jumped forward to attack |
| lovely: pretty | lovingly: with affection |
| lumber: cut wood | lumbar: lower portion of the back just above the sacral portion |
| lushes: a bunch of drunks | luscious: delicious |
| manor: a large country house | manner: style |
| marina: a harbor for small boats | marinara: an Italian tomato sauce seasoned with garlic, basil, and other seasonings |
| maroon: a dark red color | moron: a person with an IQ below the normal range |
| marring: damaging the surface (e.g., marring (scratching) the top of a table) | marrying: getting wed |
| matriculate: register in a college to earn a degree | meticulous: overly precise about details |
| maul: a heavy mallet; to beat and abuse | maw; the jaws and gullet of a voracious animal |
| metal | medal |
| meld: lay cards down on the table during a rummy-type game | merge |
| mid-drift: middle of a drift (of snow)? Used in bare mid-drift. Also seen as middrift, which is not a valid word. |
midriff: the middle of the torso Bare midriff describes casual clothing that covers the upper chest and lower abdomen but leaves the skin bare between |
| mime: telling a story with gestures and without speaking | mine: belonging to me |
| mine: belonging to me | mind: the thinking part of the brain |
| minister: a clergyman in certain Protestant churches | minster: a monastery church, a cathedral |
| minuets: elegant dances | minutes: units of time |
| moister: more moist | moisture: dampness |
| momentarily: for a moment, briefly (not in a moment or after a moment) | shortly: after a moment |
| mordantly: sarcastically, cuttingly (mordant: a dye fixative, such as tannic acid) | morbidly: near death |
| moth: a flying insect of the order Lepidoptera | mouth: the orifice used for eating and talking |
| month: approximately 1/12 of a year | |
| mouse: a small rodent | mousse: a thick dressing used to hold hair (e.g., in a "spiked" style) |
| mulled: pondered, thought over; heated with spices (e.g., wine) | milled: moved around in a relatively confined space |
| mummer: actor; participant in the annual New Years Mummers Parade in Philadelphia | murmur: an indistinct, grumbled complaint |
| must: to be obliged or need to, ought to | mussed: messed |
| nana: nickname for grandmother | nano: prefix meaning one-billionth (1/1,000,000,000)
A nano-second is an extremely brief amount of time (as intended by the author who wrote nana second). |
| natural: not artificial (used in natural ground) |
neutral: unbiased, not part of either side in a dispute |
| naturalist: a scientist who studies nature | naturist: a nudist |
| necked: descriptive of a neck (e.g., a long-necked swan | naked: unclothed, nude |
| neckless: without a neck | necklace: jewelry worn around the neck |
| nerves: more than one nerve | nervous: anxious, "on edge", emotionally tense |
| nest: a bird's home | next: nearest in a sequence |
| nigh: near | night: not day |
| nettles | needles |
| no body: the corpse is missing | nobody: no one, no person
These would be homonyms except that a shift of accent causes them to be pronounced differently. |
| noise: unstructured sound | nose: in the middle of your face, for smelling |
| Norris: a family name | Norse: Scandinavian |
| obit: obituary, a written tribute to someone who has recently died | bit: a small amount |
| oblation: a religious offering or sacrifice | ablution: washing of the body |
| of (used in would of) | have (should be would have)
This error is caused by mispronouncing the contraction would've. |
| of, off
[Using one of these for the other is a very common typographical error and indicates a total lack of proof-reading.] | |
| on: not off | one: 1
[One author consistently used on when he meant one.] |
| organism: an animal or plant considered as a totality of interdependent parts | orgasm: sexual climax |
| our, out
[As with of and off, using one of these for the other is a very common typographical error.] | |
| out: not in | ought: should |
| out door: exit door (compared with in door: entrance door)
Seen in: It was dark and took a few minutes to a gust from the out door summer brightness to the gloom of the bar. |
outdoor: outside |
| ova: egg (usually of a mammal)
Seen in a hell ova lot. | of a (the phrase being a hell of a lot.) |
| overhauls: rebuilds (as in an automobile engine) | overalls: loose-fitting trousers with a bib front and shoulder straps, often worn over regular clothing as protection from dirt |
| pact: agreement | pack: package |
| park | |
| pall: a covering (usually black cloth) used to cover a coffin or tomb | pal: a friend |
| parameter: a constant that characterizes the variables in a formula or equation (sometimes indicated symbolically, which causes it to be confused with a variable)
Parameter is one of the most abused words in modern English. If you are not discussing mathematics, avoid using this word. | perimeter: the boundary of an area, the length of such a boundary |
| passed: moved on | past: beyond |
| pasted on: used paste to stick on | passed on: euphamism for died |
| pate: a bald head | plate: on which food is placed |
| perked: recovered one's spirits or vigor; made in a percolator | piqued: provoked, stimulated
See also the homonyms peaked, peeked, and piqued. |
| perspective: a method of depicting solids and spatial relationships on a flat surface
Seen in perspective buyers. Since the context was about an art show, this was an unintentional pun. |
prospective: expected, likely to happen, future |
| petals: showy parts of a flower | pedals [of an airplane]: controls operated by the feet |
| physiatrist: a medical doctor who specializes in physical therapy | psychiatrist: a medical doctor who specializes in emotional disorders and diseases of the mind |
| physic: laxative (not the science physics, which has an s) | physique: the appearance of a person's body |
| pictures: paintings or photographs | pitcher: a large container for liquid
The expression is Little pitchers have big ears. This is a pun based on the term ear used for the handle on a pitcher, even small pitchers tend to have large handles or ears. The expression is a metaphor for how small children eavesdrop on adult conversations. |
| pilled: formed little balls of fluff on a knit fabric | piled: stacked in a haphazard manner |
| pints: units of liquid measure, 2 cups = 1 pint, 2 pints = 1 quart
Used in one of the key pints of the investigation | points: issues, concepts |
| plagues: widespread, deadly diseases; specifically, diseases caused by the bacillus Pastueurella pestis | plaques: flat pieces of hard material (e.g., wood, metal), ornately finished for use as wall decorations, often presented to persons to honor their accomplishments |
| plaintiff: the complainant in a civil lawsuit | plaintive: whining, mournful, sad |
| pleased: made happy | pled: made a plea |
| plumb: vertically straight, as determined by the use of a weight (plumb bob) at the end of a string (plumb line) | plum: a fruit, usually purple, with a pit
In Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker, one of the dances is "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" (not "Sugar Plumb"). |
| plutonic: (geology) a crystallized mineral of a subterranean, igneous origin | platonic: (of a relationship) spiritual, without sensual feeling |
| portion: a part of the whole (whether separated from the whole or not); the quantity of food served to one person
Seen in love portion | potion: a liquid medicine or a large dose thereof |
| posture: the way a person holds his or her body | poster: a graphic (e.g., photo, drawing, lithograph) on a very large piece of paper |
| pound: a weight; to beat | pond: a small pool of water |
| pour | poor |
| predatory: characterized by plundering, living by pillaging
Seen in the name of a school without humorous intent. | preparatory: (of a school) private for preparing students for college |
| prefer: favor | refer: cite, describe |
| presents: gifts | presence: being here |
| primp: to dress up with excess attention to detail | prim: extremely precise and proper |
| privet: a shrub in the genus Ligustrum | private: not public |
| prodigal: a spendthrift, someone who is recklessly extravagant | prodigy: a young person having extraordinary talent or ability |
| proficient: skilled, expert | sufficient: enough |
| prosperity: material well-being, the state of being prosperous | posterity: future generations (taken collectively) |
| prosperous: affluent, wealthy | preposterous: ridiculous, absurd |
| pumpkin: a vegetable in the squash and grourd family | bumpkin: a rustic, unsophisticated person |
| quart: two pints (1/4 gallon) | court: plaza |
| quite | quiet |
| racking: placing items on a rack; arranging pool balls in the triangle | raking: using a rake to gather leaves or grass cuttings or to prepare a seed bed |
| raff: rabble, riffraff, a disorderly collection | wrath: anger |
| rage: anger | rag: a piece of cloth |
| rapport: harmony of relationship, agreement, accord | report: a sharp sound (as from a gun shot) |
| rations: gives in limited amounts | reasons: thinks |
| ravens: large, black birds | ravines: small, narrow canyons |
| ream: 500 sheets (of paper) | bolt: board with a large quantity of cloth wound about it (the way cloth is distributed for selling) |
| reclined: sat in a slouching position that was almost lying down | declined: refused to accept |
| recon: reconnoiter, survey (often in the military sense) | reckon: calculate; take into consideration |
| refuse: trash | refuge: shelter |
| rescinded: cancelled | receded: drew back, deflated |
| resent: sent again (RE-cent); be indignant (re-ZENT) | recent: near past |
| residency: the training during which doctor learns a specialty | residence: home |
| rick: a rounded stack with the top thatched to protect it from the weather (e.g., stacked hay) | rich: wealthy |
| rickrack (misspelled as ricrac): a flat braid in a zigzag pattern, used to trim clothing | bricabrac: decorative objects, knickknacks |
| ridged: characterized by ridges | rigid: stiff |
| rift raft: a juryrigged boat (raft) for navigating over a seismic valley (rift) | riffraff: rabble, the common populace |
| road: street
Seen in tough road to hoe |
row: a series of things in a straight line
The phrase tough row to hoe refers to hoeing between rows of vegetables in a garden where the soil, roots, or closeness of the rows makes the work difficult. Metaphorically, this phrase refers to any difficult, ongoing task. |
| rout: a disorderly, overwhelming defeat | route: a path or road taken when traveling from one place to another |
| sanctity | sanctuary |
| saver: one who saves (generally, with reference to saving money)
savoir: (French) know, as in savoir faire (literally: to know how to act; idiomatically: to know how to do or say exactly the right thing without any effort) sever: cut off |
savior: one who saves (generally, with reference to saving someone else's life)
savor: enjoy with pleasure |
| say | saw |
| scrapes: scratches | scraps: remnants, left-overs |
| seal | seat |
| searing: using high heat to cook the outside of food to seal in moisture | searching: seeking |
| seat | sweat |
| secrete | secret |
| seeded: planted from seeds | seated: based
The phrase is deep seated, not deep seeded |
| severally: individually, separately | severely: seriously, harshly |
| sexton: an employee or officer of a church who is responsible the maintenance of the facilities | sextant: a device used in navigation to determine latitude by measuring the angular elevation above the horizon of stars, the sun, or other celestial bodies |
| shredded: cut or tore into small pieces (often in short thin strips) | shed: removed (often, skin, clothing, or an outer coating) |
| shilling: a British monetary unit before that currency was made decimal, 12 pence or 1/20 of a pound | shingle: a flat roofing material |
| shinny: climb upwards using the legs [usually with reference to climbing a rope or pole, using the shins] | shiny: polished, glistening (i.e., to a bright shine) |
| shock | shook |
| should | shoulder |
| show | snow |
| shudders: shakes | shutters: wood or metal coverings for windows |
| signed: wrote a signature | sighed |
| signing | singing |
| sigh: inhale and exhale audibly (often to express sadness, pain, or frustration) | sight: view, that which is seen Obviously, this is a typo — one of those that no spell-checker could catch. |
| similes: figures of speech in which explicit comparisons are made with unlike things
So are you to my thoughts as food to life Shakespeare | smiles: facial expressions indicating happiness or pleasure, usually involving the corners of the lips being higher on the face than the centers of the lips |
| since | sense |
| sire: parent (usually father) | offspring: child |
| skittles: a game of nine-pins in which a flattened ball or thick disc is thrown at the pins to knock them down | skillets: frying pans |
| slough
pronounced sloo: a bog (In this case, the error was a homonym, not a malaprop.) pronounced sluff: to shed or cast off (e.g., a snake's old skin) |
slew: killed |
| smeltering (fancy misconstruction of smelting): the operation of a smelter (where ore is melted to obtain metal) | sweltering: oppressively hot (as near a smelter) |
| smiles | smells |
| snake: a legless reptile | snack: a very light meal |
| soak | soap |
| snooping: spying | stooping: bending very low |
| sorted: put into order | sordid: filthy, dirty, vile |
| source: origin | sauce: a flavored liquid (often thickened) used on food |
| soured: past tense of sour | soared: flew high |
| speed | spread |
| specie: coined metal (often precious metal where the value of the metal creates the value of the money) | species: a category of plant or animal subordinate to a genus, agreeing in some set of characteristics and fully fertile when bred within the category |
| spell: give the letters of a word | spill: pour out |
| spin: rotate rapidly | spine: backbone |
| sprite: elf, fairy, or goblin | spirit: mood |
| spurned: rejected, turned away | spurred: prompted, caused |
| squinting: narrowing the eyes (e.g., to focus better in bright light) | squirting: shooting a liquid (e.g., from a hose or squeeze-bottle) |
| stained: marked with a stain | stand: a piece of furniture of various forms, on or in which to put articles
You will often find a nightstand next to a bed. (one word, not two; not night stained) |
| starched: (of laundry) slightly stiffened by the addition of starch | scratched: cut by sharp fingernails |
| stared: looked intently [see below] | started: began |
| starred: was the main actor in a play, movie, or TV show; marked with a star | stared: looked intently [see above] |
| steaming: any process that uses steam; giving off steam
Seen in the sunlight was steaming into the room |
streaming: flowing |
| steel | still |
| steep | step |
| stint: be stingy | stent: a thin tube used in medicine to keep a duct or vessel open |
| stork | stroke |
| stretching: making longer by pulling the ends apart | sketching: making a quick drawing |
| strike: take apart or pull down | set: set up
In a story's chapter on camping, the phrase strike camp was used in a context that clearly meant set camp. In this case strike was the exact opposite of what was meant. |
| Stuart: the royal family of Scotland, succeeding the Tudors as the royal family of England (before the Hanoverians) | steward [not capitalized]: an attendant on a passenger boat or airline |
| suburb: an outlying community adjacent to a larger city | superb: excellent |
| suite: a group of rooms (i.e., bedroom, sitting room, bathroom) in a hotel | suit: an outfit of clothes; one of the four classes of playing cards (spades, hearts, diamonds, clubs)
The idiomatic expression I followed suit [not suite], which means I did the same, derives from playing a card of the same suit as the previous card that was played. |
| surety: guarantee, performance bond | sureness |
| surly [sirly]: cross, rude, gruff | surely [shoorly]: certainly; safely |
| swapped: exchanged | swamped: overwhelmed (as in swamped with work) |
| tact: skill in avoiding what would disturb or offend someone else
Thus, in tact refers to in that skill. |
tactic: a military maneuver to gain an advantage |
| intact: unbroken, together [the word itself is unbroken, without a space] | |
| tagging: adding or marking with a tag | tugging: pulling |
| tail: what a dog wags | trail: a path |
| tasseled: decorated with tassels | tousled: disarranged, disordered |
| taunt: maliciously tease | taut: tight
(See also taut and taught under Homonyms |
| than | then |
| terse: brief, short (possibly abrupt) | tense: stretched tight, strained |
| think | thick |
| thou: familiar form of you (now considered mostly archaic) | 'though: contraction for although
though is sometimes abbreviated as tho, but not in serious writing. |
| though | thought |
| through | |
| through: in one end and out the other | throw: toss, fling |
| thrush: a bird; a fungus disease of the mouth and throat | thrust: push |
| thumb: the short, thick finger next to the index finger | thump: a dull thud |
| tickled: lightly touched in a manner to cause laughter | tinkled: made the sound of a small bell |
| tole: enameled tinware | told: said to |
| tome: book | tone: a way in which a voice sounds (" …mother said in a gentle tone.") |
| tong: long tool used for grasping | tongue: organ in the mouth, used for taste and speech
(often seen misspelled tounge) |
| tote: carry Seen in tote the line | toe: one of those little things at the end of your foot (see toe under Homonyms) |
| tough: not tender | touch |
| tract: a division of land; a religious pamphlet | track: path |
| treat | threat |
| trebles: triples, multiplies by 3 | trembles: shakes involuntarily |
| tresses: hair (generally referring to a woman's hair) | trusses: (in the context where I saw tresses) structural members designed to hold a weight over an open space (e.g., roof trusses) |
| trimmer: something used to trim a tree | tremor: a shaking motion |
| troths: fidelities, truths | troughs: long, narrow channels |
| tube: a pipe | tub: a basin for washing |
| trusting: having confidence in the integrity of someone | thrusting: pushing |
| tuff: a fragmentary volcanic rock | stuff |
| tuft: a clump or bunch of flexible parts or strands held together at the base | |
| tuft: a clump or bunch of flexible parts or strands held together at the base | tough: difficult |
| vale: valley | valet: servant |
| valley: a relatively flat, low area bounded by hills and mountains | volley: simultaneous firing of several guns, a similar burst of events |
| vile: wicked | bile: a liver secretion that helps to digest fats (the green fluid that is brought up during "dry heaves") |
| viscous: thick (usually said about a fluid) | vicious: mean, evil, malicious |
| wander: roam (often without a specific destination) | wonder: think with curiosity |
| warn | worn |
| wearingly: causing weariness | wearily: acting as if already weary |
| weary: tired | wary: cautious |
| week: seven days | work: effort, task |
| wench: young girl; more specifically, a serving maid | winch: a crank and winding device used for hoisting |
| were: past tense of are | wear: what you do with clothes |
| when | win |
| where: in what place?
were: past tense of are we're: we are [Using one of these for another is a very common typographical error and indicates a total lack of proof-reading.] | |
| whelp: the young of various carnivorous mammals | welt: a raised bruise from a sharp blow (e.g., from being hit with a belt or stick) |
| whiteness: the characteristic of being white (e.g., the whiteness of the snow) | witness: spectator |
| wittiness: being witty, clever | witness: someone who, having personally observed an incident, can testify in court about it |
| won | own (a typographical error, a very common transposition of two letters) |
| work | week
(an example of sloppy writing coupled with a total lack of proofreading) |
| worm: a small, limbless invertebrate with an elongated, soft body
Seen in the phrase worm handshake |
warm: (in this context) friendly |
| worriers: those who worry or fret
Seen in Spartans? Isn't that the group of Greece [sic for Greek] worriers … |
warriors: those who fight in wars |
| wraith [wrayth]: ghost | wrath [rath]: anger |
| wretched [RE ched]: dejected, contemptible | retched [rech'd]: vomited |
| writing: creating text | writhing: squirming like a snake |
| yawn: a wide-mouthed gasp, usually indicating sleepiness | yarn: a thick, loosely spun thread |
| yes | eyes |
| yielding: surrendering | wielding: carrying (as a weapon) |
| you | who |
I have also seen some of the malaprops listed above reversed. That is, sometimes a word from the right-hand column was used when a word from the left-hand column was meant.
In my gardening Web pages, I have another list of malaprops that includes misnomers (the wrong names for things) relative to plants.
Last updated 9 June 2008
 Main Malaprops page |
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