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An unorganized collection of wry humor, short comments on politics, jabs at commercials, predictions, et cetera. This page is always being 
, with new entries at the beginning. There is no table of contents.
Not everything here is original with me. Those items that are marked with © are original, and I own the copyright. Those items that indicate contributed by might not be original creations of the contributors.
Both optimism and pessimism are growing at the same time? This only proves that no one really knows future economic trends. They can only guess. Predicting the economy often requires the reading of burnt goat entrails.
Contributed by my daughter
Why is it that these complaints were not heard when President George H. W. Bush (Bush II) converted President Clinton's budget surpluses into deficits worse than the deficits of any prior administration? Why is it that few complaints were heard when Bush drove the national debt higher than any time in history?
No one seems to understand that Obama's deficits are largely a result of trying (1) to undo the economic disaster that started under Bush and (2) to conclude Bush's wars.
Almost five years ago, I commented about how I hate shopping, especially for clothes. Today, that hatred increased.
I'm again looking for a short-sleeved dress shirt. I need an 18½ collar, a collar that does NOT button-down.
I went to four department stores, plus a few specialty shops:
For whatever I am shopping, I find a severe lack of variety and choices. I attribute this lack to two trends in retail merchandising. The earlier trend was the change from local buying to centralized buying by department stores. This means that variations in local tastes and desires are ignored. The later trend was the consolidation of department store chains through mergers, eliminating some of the competition that would make the wishes of customers important.
Robinsons-May, where I unsuccessfully shopped five years ago, was since taken over by Macy's. Robinsons-May itself represented the takeover of J. W. Robinson's by the May Company. Fifty and more years ago, there were quite a few major department stores in the Los Angeles area, each independent of the others: Broadway, Bullock's, J. W. Robinson's, Coulter's, Silverwood's, May Company, Buffum's, Henshey's, Orbach's. If you could not find what you wanted at one store, your might indeed find that item at another. Now there are only three major chains. If what you want is not at one store, forget it.
Fortunately, I rarely wear a dress shirt; and the two nice dress shirts that I already own — both short-sleeved and neither with button-down collars — still fit me.
My wife and I were at a local supermarket for the weekly grocery shopping. While she was choosing a loaf of bread, I was looking at the cheeses. I picked up a few wedges of brie and checked them to see how soft (and thus how fresh) they were. I decided against buying any of them.
When I rejoined my wife, she asked me where I had been. I told her I had been fondling the cheese.
Wife: "You were doing what???"
Me: "I was fondling the cheese. You're supposed to fondle it before making fondue."
Wife: "I think you should make fondon't!"
What was the most significant, positive accomplishment of President George W. Bush (Bush II)?
He didn't die in office and foist Dick Cheney on us as the next President.
Suggested by my dear wife
About four or five years ago, I bought a glue stick. I didn't use it much, so it lasted until now.
Where should I go to buy a new one? A stationery store, of course.
To be sure that I found what I wanted, I went to one of the largest stationery chains. There, I could either buy a package of four glue sticks like the one I had, or else I could buy a giant glue stick. In either case, what they wanted to sell me would last me the rest of my life and possibly beyond. Such bulk packaging is the rule at all stationery chains.
I bought a single glue stick at a neighborhood drug store (also part of a national chain of drug stores). It cost $1 and should last me until I'm well past 70.
Yes, I know the chain stationery stores are selling office supplies. But why do they think all offices have dozens of employees and require bulk supplies. I'm retired, and my office has only me.
Why is it??
My daughter lives in the central prairies of Canada, in a city with a population of about 250,000. She can walk into her credit union or bank and get a money order denominated in U.S. dollars without much trouble.
I live in a metropolitan area of the U.S. with a population of about 10,000,000, twenty time the size of Heather's city. I cannot find a bank or credit union — even among branches of the largest financial institutions in the nation — that will issue a money order denominated in Canadian dollars.
There was the couple waiting for their luggage in a Florida airport when they noticed a man who was dressed in very heavy clothing. Wondering where he was from the husband went up to the gentleman and asked "Pardon me sir, but do you mine telling me where you're from?"
The man replied "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan".
The other man thanked him and walked back to his wife.
His wife then asked "So, where's he from"?
To which the man replied "I don't know, he doesn't speak English"
Contributed by my daughter Heather,
who lives in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada.
I've noticed that more and more restrooms in such public places as shopping malls and restaurants have replaced paper towels with hot air blowers. The claim is that the blowers — by reducing the demand for wood pulp and reducing trash that goes to landfills — are good for the environment.
I have several problems with these hot air blowers:
I've been shopping for a new gas barbecue. The old one — now about 12-13 years old — is showing its age. The burner needs a good cleaning or replacing, but I can't figure out how to detach it. The firebox has warped from repeated heating, causing the cooking grids to drop onto the ceramic briquettes.
I merely want to replace the barbecue that I have with a similar unit. It has two burners, which have always been enough. Today, the average gas barbecue seems to have four or more burners. All the barbecues that I had at this house — where I've lived for over 34 years — sat on posts that were firmly fastened to the concrete patio. The store where I bought my old barbecue no longer sells any with posts. Now, barbecues come with carts large enough for a person to use as a bedroom.
This afternoon, I visited a nearby appliance store that sells gas barbecues. The salesman showed me one of their smaller models. I told him that it would be quite suitable if I were running a catering service.
The problem is not just barbecues. Many products that were quite good are no longer available. My parents bought some aluminum lawn furniture with woven webbing. When they sold their house, they gave the furniture to us. The frames were bolted together, not riveted. The webbing was saran, not something that rots away after only one summer of sunshine. The set lasted over 20 years. Today, the only similar furniture is bought in the spring and trashed in the fall.
One of my favorite breakfast cereals is no longer stocked by any of the four major supermarket chains in my area, even though its still being manufactured. Although my doctor recommended it for soothing the itch of an insect bite, I can't find phenylated calamine lotion in any of three major drug store chains. My favorite local grocer no longer stocks grapefruit marmalade, calamari steaks, or plain uncooked wild rice.
Products seem to get fancier every year. But I don't want fancy. For example, for a recipe that involves cooking something with wild rice, I don't want fully-cooked wild rice, which would get over-cooked. And I don't want a mix of white, brown, and wild rice; the recipe calls for only wild rice. And I don't want flavored or seasoned wild rice; the recipe has its own seasonings. But the markets have fully-cooked, mixed, or seasoned wild rice; they don't have plain uncooked wild rice.
I don't want a barbecue big enough to cook dinner for 30 people; I want a barbecue to cook dinner for just my wife and me. And it doesn't need a burner built into a shelf; we have a nice gas range inside our kitchen. And I certainly don't want a barbecue on wheels attached to the permanent natural gas line that's adjacent to my patio. But barbecues are now sized to cook an entire side of beef while rolling across my back yard.
Every bell and whistle, every added processing and seasoning, every increase in size and complexity means that I have to pay for features I really don't want. (Attention Bill Gates: This applies to software, too.)
No wonder I hate to shop.
How come I see spam that says:
Loan request approved
but I never see spam that says:
Your loan application has been rejected
???
Copyright Notice
Each item with the © symbol is copyrighted by David Ross in the year indicated.
Each copyright applies to the item between full ruled lines.
For details about the rights I reserve, see my copyright page.
